The Invincibles

In the flat where I stay with friends, there are other residents who stay without paying any rent and have the audacity of eating what we bring for our consumption, destroying what we forget to keep in closed boxes and shitting wherever they feel like. These are residents like the old tenants who won’t give the rent and won’t vacate the house either. You can use legal power, muscle power or even a terminator, if you think that’s going to work!
Then I think if the survival instincts of these residents have been so strong that they have been on this planet since the Ice Age, then what powers do I have to challenge their supremacy! So ladies and gentlemen, I present before you the greatest species of all the living beings – THE Cockroaches! You would find them in all the corners of the world. Sometimes I get the doubt, that when the wise people said “God is everywhere”, then was the secret reference to these great creatures, because from whatever it might be difficult for one being to be present everywhere all the time. So he could have delegated this prestigious task of keeping an eye on his creation to these creatures! Mysterious are the ways of the Lord!
So it so happens that in the flat where I live, these cockroaches are in so much abundance that one can start a cockroach shit packaging factory, which can then be marketed as anything – from a cure of obesity to teeth whitening wonder (one can get the business ideas by watching what any tele shopping networks for a day). I have tried everything from the cockroach eliminating chalks to pest control professional help. But, sigh, who can destroy those who are protected by the Lord himself. After all, they could be on his payrolls!
So now I have learnt the art of mutual coexistence! Looking at the positive side, you don’t feel lonely in the house with these tenants around!
I had learnt to compromise and thought that this was my destiny to have these invincibles in my flat, till a few days back, when a heart wrenching shriek emanated from my kitchen!My brain started building up all kinds of stories, all at once and before I could decide what could be the matter, my room-mate came out of kitchen, all color drained from her face, and said one word “Rat”. So now we had a new enemy to start our fight against. After all, the spice of life will be gone if everything keeps going smoothly!
I went to the kitchen to meet the enemy in the eye. There he was sitting on top of the water purifier and staring as if to say, “You make one false move and I am gonna teach you the lesson of your life”. I got the message and came out of the kitchen wondering what to do. Then I took one plastic rod like thing and tried to coax him out of the kitchen, though it was still a mystery as to how he got in, the doors being closed. But none of my brave attempts, to goad it out, worked. Then we thought of calling in the security guards to help us maidens out of this misery. But as we all know, chivalary is dead, has been dead for long but I keep forgetting that, and we got the reply that there is no one free who can be sent ( though what task were they performing, is beyond my knowledge). Nonetheless, I continued my efforts and finally the rat went back( it was hiding behind the basket) towards the kitchen window, but it was closed ( again I started thinking how had it come inside). But then what I saw, made me believe in the power of will, be it that of a mere rat! The rodent started its acrobatics, it jumped on the window sill from where it jumped onto the top of the water purifier. What next? It jumped on a wire that was connected to the exhaust fan and then showed some tricks on the wire like a trapeze artist and then in one final swing went to the exhaust fan and out from the ventilator. Of course, how could I not think of the only open point in the kitchen!
So since that day we have tried to annihilate the mighty enemy and despite the claims of one of the rat killing products in the market, it is still a nocturnal visitor to the kitchen, after having eaten several pieces of that product. It seems it’s a late night snack that he comes in the quest for, and this so called poison is making it better and stronger!A few days back I had read an interesting point mentioned in the Hitchhiker’s guide to the galaxy, that the planet earth was created as a demand from the mice as they want to do some research on humans and they have very cleverly led humans to believe that it is the other way round(i.e. the humans doing research on mice). And seeing this mighty rodent, I think the theory might have some truth in it!
Now I have no clue how to end the great one’s (another Invincible) visits to my house so that we can again live in peace for some time. Too much spice in life is also not very good, you see!

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4 thoughts on “The Invincibles

  1. Hi Shweta,Good Morning, I thought lets start my day with your article. Similar case at my house too, I asked my owner either you take rent from us or from these rats and cockroaches. But these were not only the unwanted guest to my house, squirrels and snakes were too invited at my place. After complaining to owner just listen what he comments ” Squirrels dont bite so whats the issue” I was shocked I said “yeh kali bhais hain jiske samne been bajane se kuch nahi honewala”Yours Truely,Huhuhu

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  2. Da “K”ween of blogging does it again. its exhilarating stuff as usual..will not disappoint you. It will keep you on the edge of your seat and put a shiver down your spine while tickling your funny bone all at the same time. keep a look out for more master blogs from the queen in the future.

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